Moving from Coping to Healing After an Abortion

Posted on

February 19, 2024

Before an abortion, it’s often easy to think that it will fix the “problem” and you won’t have to think about it anymore. Many women are surprised with the grief that they cope with after an abortion. This can be even more difficult because many women who choose abortion may not feel like they have the right to grieve; like their grief is not justified because they made the choice themselves. Regardless, their grief exists. Yours does too.

After abortion, you might go through the same stages of grief as if you had experienced a natural loss of your baby through miscarriage or stillbirth

1. Denial

Denial is the first stage in grief following the initial shock or disbelief that you were in a situation requiring you to make such a life-altering decision. Often, denial is a way to survive because you might be unable to believe that you actually experienced an abortion. We all tend to think, that won’t happen to me. Many women remain in this state, denying the reality of what actually happened to them, until they reach a point in their lives where they feel safe to deal with the deeply rooted emotions they feel.

2. Depression

Denial can’t continue forever. Eventually, many women begin to face the grief/sadness/anger/unresolved regret surrounding their abortion, leading to depression. At this stage, it’s natural to move between denial and depression. Often, the only hope that can intervene in this cycle of denial and depression is reaching out for help.

3. Acceptance/Silent Pain

It’s possible that you come to a place of acceptance. This acceptance, though, might really just be silent pain. Without the true healing that comes through Jesus Christ and abortion recovery programs, like (UN)covered, even coming to a place of acceptance about your abortion may be accompanied by feelings of guilt, shame, and pain that manifest in your life.

4. Hope and Healing

At (UN)covered, we know that it is only through Jesus and His work on the cross that women can truly experience forgiveness, freedom, and restoration after an abortion. In denial, depression, and acceptance alike there is healing for you.

What does this healing journey look like?

In one of the recovery support groups that we offer at (UN)covered, we delve into Linda Cochran’s, Forgiven and Set Free. In this curriculum, the author guides the reader though a biblical healing journey as demonstrated in Psalm 51.

  • Like David, we acknowledge the depths of our depravity and the reality that our choices have consequences. (Verses 3-5.)
  • Because God is just and the wages of sin are death, we realize that the price must be paid. (verses 2-4)
  • We can begin to see and understand God for who He is; His justice tempered by His mercy. (verses 4-6.)
  • We begin to accept responsibility for our choices (verses 3-6), forgive those who hurt us, and sincerely accept God’s forgiveness through the work of Jesus on the cross. (Verses 7-10, 14.)
  • We can be restored to God’s favor (Verses 10-11, 16-19), rejoicing in our salvation (verses 12, 14-15), and begin testifying to other’s about God’s amazing grace (verses 13-15.)

Through this healing journey, God can move you from simply coping with abortion consequences to living free from denial, depression, and silent pain.

Reach out, today, to begin your healing journey.